I look into the mirror. I see a familiar face. I have known him for thirty years. But today, he looks older than his age. He has a pot belly, a result of his lazy lifestyle. His fair complexion has turned pale, the beard which he can bring himself to shave only occasionally, looks ungroomed. His barely- open eyes suggest that he has not slept for ages, dark circles surround them. I am not very conscious of my looks, but it is hard to believe that the man in the mirror is me.
'Stop staring at the mirror. It's you,' my mom's loud voice broke my contemplation.
'Look at your complexion, Ajay...you used to be so fair,' she said, with complete seriousness. I knew she did not love her son blindly. She could see his
defects and weaknesses, she had been with him through his
downfall. I know I had looked good once.
The best way to avoid giving life to mom's complaints is silence. My phone rang. It was a call from Rahul. Thank God! I could legitimately move away from mom's recriminations now.
'Hi, Rahul.'
'Hey! Hope I am not disturbing you buddy...'
No one could disturb me anymore. 'Not at all, please tell me...' He asked hesitatingly, 'How are you doing?" Concern! By now, almost every friend had asked after my well- being. It was weird.
I mean, do you have any friends who call and ask, how you are doing? I missed the times when good friends called and said, 'Oye... Mr. Tharki...Kamine... Moron...' Now, everyone has sympathy for me. So does Rahul.
'I am doing well,' I replied, after a pause.
'We are planning a family lunch at Lodhi Gardens.
Would you be interested in joining us?'
'Who will be there?'
'Tanya and I. Another family...'
He mentioned family twice, in two lines. I felt awkward. I had no idea how to respond to his invitation. 'No, yaar! You guys carry on...I have to go to Shopprix
with mom.'
'The mall?'
'Yeah, for mom..."
I returned to my room, lay on the bed and buried myself under my quilt. I reflected on the call I had just received.
Rahul is a good friend...The manner in which he had asked .. would you be interested...' He could have forced me to join them! Given me no choice! He should have ordered me to get dressed... threatened to come home and drag me out with him. I remembered the days when we used to roam around the Delhi lanes. The four of us, Bhavna, I, Rahul and Tanya...used to be so close-knit. Away from our homes, we fulfilled the roles and relationship of family for each other. Today, they had found a new family!
My status had changed from being family to a bachelor.
Let me take you back to my past.
Bhavna and I got married after seven years of courtship. We studied in the same engineering college. Together, we had laughed, cried, and lived unbelievable days. The world used to say that we were not a couple, but best friends. In the first year of college, I proposed to her. As personalities, we were poles apart. But we were sure that we were made for each other. Two- and-a-half years into our marriage, she suddenly contracted a blood infection, septicaemia. Septicaemia is a fatal disease...her organs started failing...After two weeks of battle, I lost her. She passed away in front of my eyes.
I have no unit of measurement to show you how big the loss was to me.
The feeling that she would never be back. I can never again see the beautiful smile that could heal everything. I cannot endlessly praise her eyes. I cannot tease her that she is getting fatter by the day. There is no one with whom I can dance like crazy. No one who would shout at me for over-speeding while driving the car.
