A Girl Who Found Herself Alone

        A girl who found herself alone

Someone said, life is not about finding yourself but life is about creating yourself. Yes this saying is true in my side too. It was story a of seventeen years ago when I lost my father due to his sudden accident. Life is so uncertain and what will be your life after the death of father, I knew that day. Everyone was with me except my father but I could feel his absence. Because what I am today is only because of him. After his death I was feeling alone weather it was night or day but I was not feeling any difference between time. Life is not so easy as you think but it is more dangerous when you lost your beloved ones and then you start a new life and again their memories give a diverse impact on your mind and that condition is really unbearable. Everywhere I found only darkness. Everywhere I found myself alone. I was a normal child and I was born normal but after my father’s death I could feel the reality of life. From that day I started thinking on everything and started doing everything very minutely.
“Sometimes destiny and time also play a great role in changing someone’s life. May be due to need even a small child can do something big and can think a lot”.
I was all alone in my life even I had my mother and younger brother but I was always feeling alone. After my father’s death I went to Ranchi along with my maternal aunt but I was feeling sad there and finally left there just saying that I want to live only with my mother and brother.
After coming from there everyone started taunting on me. But I was just like deaf. I couldn’t listen and feel what they said about me. I started studying my village and after class fifth I moved to my maternal grandmother’s house for further studies along with my mother and brother. My mother started working hard for both of us. She had to travel 30 kilometres everyday for her work just to feed us and to take care of us.
And this journey of my mother lasted when I completed my 10th board. Then she moved to my hometown for her work and from that day I took some difficulties on my head. Now my journey from home to college, a distance of 30 kilometres started. But I never look back because I was going to fulfill my father’s dream and his dream was also unspoken. Only after knowing his experience in the field of medical science, I moved towards to achieve my as well as my father’s dreams. I took PCMB group and started working hard. After that I completed my 12th with good percentage and got selected in BDS in appearing chance. But I denied to took admission and that was my biggest fault. After that I moved to Varanasi for medical entrance preparation in a coaching which was run and managed by my mother’s closest relative. I started working hard there. But sometimes it seems like your thinking ability is much more poor than God’s decision. God has power to change everything in a reaction of seconds either he will deny or accept your prayer only if he wants.
Yes, it was again second time when I lost something in my life and that was I could not crack the exam. After that I moved here and there for three years.  And my writing journey started only from that day when I was not selected in medical and that was the moment when I sat on the bank of Ganga in Varansi at Assi ghat and that was the day when my pen splashed the reality of my life on the paper. I started writing from that day but again for two years it took a pause till I have not taken admission in the college where I am presently studying.
Again my writing journey started in the college but this time writing journey was something different as I started it accidentally due to some incidents happened in the college.
From the very first time I started writing on yourquote app and that was a heart melting quote. And from there I started gaining confidence and experience in the field of literature and writing. After then I wrote some stuffs on juggernaut and then on “United by ink” and won prize in the contest. Slowly writing journey is in its speed and in this time this experience is 1.5 years old with several write-ups in different forms and in both hindi and english language. Apart from my academic life, writing career is just like a medicine for me. Because when I feel alone and feel a bit low then I used to write my feelings on the white sheet of paper. Sometimes I think to leave this journey when I get some difficulty but again in the next time I think something and started to write. But now I am at a stage where I find nothing with me except writing passion. It became my passion. It became my best friend. It became my soulmate. It became the one who always help me to overcome the sadness and frustration. It became the one who always give me to rejoice my life. It became the one who always present by my side in the worst phase of my life. Writing helper me to find me in myself when I think I lost my identity somewhere. But now it becomes my pathfinder who help me to move in the dark. It became the important part of my life and helped a girl to find her path who found herself alone in this world. And my journey of life is only writing. I always day with proud that “If agriculture is my profession then writing is my passion.